I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
