last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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