i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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