Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
