the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
