Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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