He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
