I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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