I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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