it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Farmville is her only friend.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
