Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
