We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
