i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
