i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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