Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
