I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
