I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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