so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
