The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
only you would photoshop your dick
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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