bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
