Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
