I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
