that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
