hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
