susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
