i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
how do flat chested girls get laid?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We had sex on a dog bed..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
