So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the liver wants what the liver wants
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
