some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
