Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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