I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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