She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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