I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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