Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
