sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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