Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
