Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
