At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
