Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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