I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
...so i touched it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
