I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
