This girl is more easily done than said...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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