So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
