Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
