sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
