I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
