Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
