when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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