Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
