Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
