I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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