I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
